Written by Kane on . Posted in Blog.

Teaching Perseverance In Parenting and Programming

 

Yesterday, I asked my 6-year-old son to put away some Lego pieces. We'd been constructing a robot set he received for his birthday. He dutifully went looking for his Lego bin. When it wasn't in the very first place he expected it to be, he said, "I can't find it." His response triggered a thought—why do we give up so quickly when obstacles arise?

⁠This is not an isolated event. Whether it's bike riding or reading, my son's readiness to quit if not immediately successful is concerning. Yet, the path from beginner to master is one of consistent practice and dedication, echoing Ryan Holiday’s insight in "The Obstacle is the Way" that the obstacle isn't just the way; it's the only way. I feel my son needs to just keep going, but when I've say that to him, he shuts down emotionally.

Is this when I should alter my approach? Should I lean into his innate qualities like creativity and energy, rather than pushing him towards attributes he doesn’t naturally possess? His 4-year-old sister seems to have more innate determination and grit. It begs the question: Can willpower and perseverance be cultivated in my kids?

My son's initial response also resonates with my experience in software development. Using the gcc compiler with the "-Wall" flag enabled requires that I address all warnings as errors. This aligns with the principle of facing obstacles head-on, as Ryan Holiday discusses, converting them into opportunities for improvement.
 
Can my son learn to embrace the merits of 'failing forward,' much like how a compiler or unit test flags issues immediately? Is there a way to cultivate perseverance in the face of temporary setbacks? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
 
 
Full disclosure - I used an AI tool to review & edit this blog post, and another one to generate the image.
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